PAINTING WITH WORDS #Word choices #Word images

Want to brighten your writing and cut down detailed description?  

Choose words and phrases that evoke mental images

 

An artist I am not 

When I used to speak at schools, someone always wanted to know, "Do you illustrate your books?" My stock reply was,  "If I illustrated them, they would never be published!"

Before I discovered the wonderful world of free computer ClipArt, a children's book publisher asked me to send rough sketches of what I visualized for illustrations. The best I could do was draw a triangle with a few blades of grass and mark it "Indian tepee." Now I enjoy choosing possible illustrations, creating sample book covers, etc.

Then versus now

When I was growing up, authors had far more freedom to include lengthy descriptions of persons, places, and things in their books. Zane Grey was a master of description. When our family traveled throughout the western states, we knew when we reached one of his settings, it would be exactly as he described it in his books.He had an advantage: most readers never had been there. They needed details.

Description is still important and I include it in my work. However, in this busy world, many people don't want to be slowed by long passages describing how people or places look. If I can convey what the reader needs to know in fewer words, so be it. 

Example. I write articles for a magazine with a 1200-word submission limit. I recently needed to "set the stage," but reserve most of the words for the story itself. End result:

"A weekend at the peaceful campgrounds by the bay meant time with friends, smiling September skies, blooming flowers, chattering squirrels, and occasional visits from deer. I loved my career as a Christian author, but this promised time away from book deadlines, plus the opportunity to learn new ways to communicate with our Heavenly Father."

Fifty-four words establishes the setting, why I was there, and my anticipation. 

 
Pictures can spring to mind, triggered by a single word or phrase. Instead of spending time describing the perfect autumn day, calling it a "King-Midas" world conjures up mental images of the unfortunate King from Greek mythology who lost everything that really mattered in his greed for gold.

What comes to mind when you hear:

"A moth-eaten mustache"
"Caterpillar eyebrows"
"A crotchety old man"
"A wisp of a woman"
"A Halloween house"
"A relentless wind"
"A pestiferous suitor"


 

Some guidelines for painting word pictures

1.  Use the amount of description needed for each particular manuscript. A romance or mystery story will call for much more than a how-to or personal experience article.
2. Choose words wisely, ones that fit the place or character or event. 
3. Avoid cliches' such as "blue Monday," "red-hot poker," etc.
4. Hyphenation works: "Ivy-shrouded windows, staring like hidden eyes." Or, "A portent-of-doom day."
5.  Weigh carefully whether the description helps move the story forward, enlists reader sympathy, hatred, etc., and gives a clear picture of your intent. If not, consider condensing.

Choosing just the right words and phrases can be challenging, but is well worth the effort.